When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.

I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.

If you lie to a person at least tell someone else you've lied to the truth. It balances out your karma.

After you have loss in your life and after you experience something like losing your parents, the greatest gift of that was it prepared me for [anything]. Nothing else is as scary, and certainly stand-up comedy is not as scary as sitting there with your mom and having to have last conversations and things like that. It's heavy stuff, but it's enlightening because it makes me think I shouldn't be afraid of sharing ideas and thoughts with people. It's the yin and the yang of life.

I won't take no for a question.

When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.

You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.