I'm sure that people who have been tweeting funny things have ended up on writing staffs of a late night show.

When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.

I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.

When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!

When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.

I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.

It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.