It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.

You must accept responsibility for your actions. This doesn't include reactions, interactions or transactions if you're thinkin' loophole.

We never had a pool, right. So one summer, I remember. My dad, to make me happy. You know I was bummed out cause we didn't have the pool. So one summer he bought us this thing. It was yellow, you laid it on the lawn, sprayed it with the water, run across. Slip n' Slide. Yeah. Would have been fun if dad checked for rocks before he laid it down! Slip n' Bleed from the anus they should have called this ride.

Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.

I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.

Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.

I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.