I'm not racist, I've got a black president.

Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.

Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!

I grew up very self-loathing. I was a phobic. I had anxiety. I had panic attacks.

I'm a late-night guy.

I'm glad that my parents missed one thing that was really unbelievable. They saw me hit this great success. It was a blast and we had a lot of laughs. And it was just an amazing time. They passed away. And then after I got, you know, famous, all these haters came out of nowhere.

When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.