That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.

If a kid is really interested in wanting to have a career in aviation, he's actually learning and getting some of the [basics], not even just fringe. There are things in here that movie [Planes] about like the pulp of an engine, and it's the actual engine, the actual parts and pieces. So I felt like I got schooled as well. I learned a lot just being in there and doing that.

Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?

I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it's so different from standup.

My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.

If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.

Sometimes girls act all TNT Network because they know drama. That's when guys get all TBS around you because we think it's very funny.