That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.

When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'

My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor.

I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.

If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.

It really drives me banana sangwich.

I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.