Some people give you that motivation to work harder simply to get the hell away from wherever they are.

A couple of days back, I got into a car accident. Not my fault. Even if it's not your fault, the other person gets out of their car and looks at you like it's your fault: Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80!

I got home from work today and took like a one hundred hour nap. No you did not. You'd be very sick if you were taking one hundred hour naps. That's a coma! If you said you took a coma after work I'd be able to follow the story.

I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.

This is a dream come true. HBO is the highest echelon in the world for a stand-up comedian to attain. Throughout my career I've trusted my instincts to lead me down the right path, and I am honored to work together with this network while contributing to the legacy that is HBO.

Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.

When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.