Text a guy you like right now, "I'm thinking about you." If he says, "mmm are you in bed?" Never speak to him again he's a lifelong moron.

When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.

Hi, I'm a buck tooth and I like to be outside past the lips.

I just get excited doing shows. Off stage I am actually very feeble and must be spoon-fed because my hands are too brittle.

Are there glass shards in my anus?!

Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?

If you're 1 of the 3 girls in pics with a greaseball whose arms are around you at a club you lose at life. If you're the greaseball you win.