My favorite sexual position is when the girl is facing Mecca and I am fighting off a wolf.

I'm sure that people who have been tweeting funny things have ended up on writing staffs of a late night show.

I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not "all" but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.

You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.

It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.

Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.

When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.