Here's the thing about Red Sox fans, or actually just fans from that region, in general: they appreciate the effort. And if you mail it in or if you give 80 percent, even with a win, they'll let you know that's not how you do it. They want - if it's comedian, if it's a musician, bring us your best show.

I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.

Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.

I'm in a new club, by the way. And I don't know if you're first timers like I am, but I'm in the 'I Just Dropped My Cell Phone In My Own Piss' Club. Have you done that? Yeah, good times. I'm on the phone and I forget that I'm using shoulder technique. Urinals were taken so I went in to use the regular john. And as I'm standing there, mid-conversation, I'm like 'Are you serious?' and it just started to toboggan right down my powerful chest.

I do think I am funny, or I wouldn't be where I am today. I do think there is always room for improvement and learning.

I never leave a dog alone in a car on a hot day. I make sure it's with an elderly person holding a baby.

I don't like people that litter. If you don't throw a wrapper in the trashcan and you just toss it out on the ground I wanna take you and toss you into outer space.