Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!

What am I supposed to say to an atheist when he sneezes, ah, when you die nothing happens.

I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.

Sometimes, like we all do, I look at myself in the mirror. Sometimes I cry. Like a really hard cry like you just watch yourself cry but then you're done and you're just glowing and you're staring at yourself.

There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.

There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.

A couple of days back, I got into a car accident. Not my fault. Even if it's not your fault, the other person gets out of their car and looks at you like it's your fault: Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80!