Are there glass shards in my anus?!

In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.

If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or in a coffee shop where they are doing open mice, anywhere you can perform even if that means starting your own open mic night - and be your own self.

My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.

I never leave a dog alone in a car on a hot day. I make sure it's with an elderly person holding a baby.

The problem with dating a model is they won't go out with you if your cars color doesn't match their outfit.

Time machine... wouldn't you like to travel through time? I would. I'd go back... mess with people. You know what I would do? I would go back to when my mom and dad were having sex, to have me. Ya'know, come in, spank my dad on the ass I'm your son from the future! Ahaha!