You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.
I don't know if I could kill someone with a frozen turkey because that is a lot of evidence to eat .... unless I found a whole room of people who also wanted that person dead.
We all hope for breakthrough rebirth moments.
I'm sure that people who have been tweeting funny things have ended up on writing staffs of a late night show.