I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it's so different from standup.

I did stand-up comedy for seventeen years. I need to explore other things.

What am I supposed to say to an atheist when he sneezes, ah, when you die nothing happens.

It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.

It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.

I would still have old ladies come up to me after the show and pat me on the cheek after I had said all this vulgar stuff. They would be like, 'Oh you're a silly boy - we know you're just playing.

A couple of days back, I got into a car accident. Not my fault. Even if it's not your fault, the other person gets out of their car and looks at you like it's your fault: Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80!