I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it's so different from standup.

I'm not giving up on life. I'm giving up on today.

Here's the thing about Red Sox fans, or actually just fans from that region, in general: they appreciate the effort. And if you mail it in or if you give 80 percent, even with a win, they'll let you know that's not how you do it. They want - if it's comedian, if it's a musician, bring us your best show.

I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.

The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.

The problem with dating a model is they won't go out with you if your cars color doesn't match their outfit.

Some people have constipation of the brain but their mouth has the runs.