When I have a really hot date at a show, I definitely make it a point to use her name. The girls really love that.

You know you're lazy when you run out of toilet paper and use the cardboard roll to wipe with.

I do try to keep my show very improvisational. I don't work off a set list; I like to keep it more in the moment. I like to have information about where I'm going, what might be happening in that particular region as well. I like for people to feel like the show is for them.

I'm going to hell, ah... but you're laughing, so you're coming.

Sometimes, like we all do, I look at myself in the mirror. Sometimes I cry. Like a really hard cry like you just watch yourself cry but then you're done and you're just glowing and you're staring at yourself.

I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...

Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?