Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.

It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.

I like fearless characters, people just not afraid to do anything it takes to make people laugh.

You know what I'd like to be able to do more than anything else? I'd love to be able to shoot spaghetti out of my fingertips. Pppptthhh! Cause no one wants to be covered in spaghetti. No. If I'm on a date with a girl and she's very rude, I'd be like, You know what? Pppptthhh! Enjoy your spaghetti, you're very rude. Enjoy your spaghetti, cause you're rude. Pppptthhh!

Someone needs to make a zombie movie where when you get bit it turns you into a singing and dancing extraordinaire.

I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.

I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.