I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.

I would still have old ladies come up to me after the show and pat me on the cheek after I had said all this vulgar stuff. They would be like, 'Oh you're a silly boy - we know you're just playing.

In the year 3000, everything will be instant.

A lot of comics are kind of vampire types; we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.

When you delete pictures of your ex off your phone, it feels lighter.

Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever.

True love is when you're cheating on a person but the thought of them still makes your eyes smile!