Some people have constipation of the brain but their mouth has the runs.

In the year 3000, everything will be instant.

Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.

I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.

We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.

Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.

My real first job was delivering newspapers with I was 15. I would ride my bike around and chuck papers at people's houses. The thing that sucked is when I would go collecting everyone acted like they were not home. Totally sucked but because I could control the weather I showered trashcan size hail down on their homes until they were completely decimated.