You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.
Dane CookThe key to attempting to create art in some aspect is also knowing that it will turn some people off.
Dane CookWhen you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
Dane CookMy brain is very fantastical. If I ever actually recorded myself, I could probably win a Grammy for sex talk. Being on the road while in relationships, you need to learn to pleasure one another.
Dane CookIt was peace. Peace is when you would shake the hands of the people around you. And you knew peace was coming because the priest would say it five times rapid fire. He'd go, “My peace I leave, my peace I give to you. While we ate Reese's Pieces with the Lord. And I have a piece of lint in my peaceful eye"!
Dane Cook