I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.
It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.
You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.