You know you're lazy when you run out of toilet paper and use the cardboard roll to wipe with.
I'm not racist, I've got a black president.
I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.
When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
True love is when you're cheating on a person but the thought of them still makes your eyes smile!
Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.