I don't like people that litter. If you don't throw a wrapper in the trashcan and you just toss it out on the ground I wanna take you and toss you into outer space.

Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?

Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever.

Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.

I would still have old ladies come up to me after the show and pat me on the cheek after I had said all this vulgar stuff. They would be like, 'Oh you're a silly boy - we know you're just playing.

My advice is: to try and stay really true to the things that make YOU laugh, as opposed to trying to create a character that you think is funny. Some comedians get into bad habits when they are trying to create something that is not them, and they are trying to write a voice that isn't their true voice.

It's the worst feeling when you come home alone late at night and think the stranger sitting on your couch is a pile of clothes.