My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.

If you lie to a person at least tell someone else you've lied to the truth. It balances out your karma.

No one wants to drown. Drowning would be the worst. Cause everyone knows that feeling. That feeling, oh it's the worst... when you think you're drowning.

The key to attempting to create art in some aspect is also knowing that it will turn some people off.

The problem with dating a model is they won't go out with you if your cars color doesn't match their outfit.

I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.

I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.