If you look at the Bible and you look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything?

Scattergories is second base for Christians.

Being a white boxer is like being a republican. No matter how hard you work, you'll always lose because of the Mexicans.

One day, I want to get rich enough so that every time I walk into a room I can release a dozen doves.

The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.

I don't know what fire is made of - hell nobody does. All I know is that fire is awesome. I'm not a pyromaniac, but I am a pyroenthusiast.

If Canada were really that great, it would be a state.