I assume the only reason we have them is so that white people feel relevant in sports. Because other than that the only thing the winter Olympics show me is which country has more rich white kids. What's it cost to go skiing - $900 a day? I can't believe that's not more popular in the inner cities.

No touching... Cashmere is highly sensitive to the oil in poor people's fingers.

I have no real talents. If I could make a living at a normal job, I'm sure I would do that.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I can say that. I have a television show.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

e foundation to a good friendship is trust but the foundation to good comedy is by betraying your friends.