I assume the only reason we have them is so that white people feel relevant in sports. Because other than that the only thing the winter Olympics show me is which country has more rich white kids. What's it cost to go skiing - $900 a day? I can't believe that's not more popular in the inner cities.

Sure I may look adjusted, but I can't function in normal society because most of you are too stupid.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

If security guards aren't allowed to carry guns, I don't have to obey their made up rules.

I was drinking tea the other day, and I thought: they used to fight wars over this.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

I don't think I could stab somebody, cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun.