Sure I may look adjusted, but I can't function in normal society because most of you are too stupid.

I don't believe space exists. You're not gonna put a camera on a roomba, stick it in the desert, and tell me it's Mars.

I go to the dentist every six months, I get a cleaning, so... I'm fortunate enough that those fluoride treatments as a child worked. Not getting any cavities.

Sometimes my mind wanders; other times it leaves completely.

Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.

If you offer me a starring role in a movie, I have no interest.