Scattergories is second base for Christians.

I started my own foundation. If you aren't familiar with it, it's called 'Febreezing the homeless.' Who would you rather give money to: a man that smells 4like liquiid garbage, or ocean breeze?

Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.

No matter how flat you make your pancakes, it still has two sides.

I don't know what fire is made of - hell nobody does. All I know is that fire is awesome. I'm not a pyromaniac, but I am a pyroenthusiast.

I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.

If you snort enough blow, any lane is a passing lane.