Scattergories is second base for Christians.

I really don’t work a whole lot as far as touring, but I do stand-up every night of my life, no matter where I am. It’s really made the touring a lot less grueling.

People write a lot of similar material. That's why I try to come up with the most absurd jokes.

The only thing surfers have in common with the rest of America is they're unemployed and they love crystal meth.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I'm not honest, but you're interesting!

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.