They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.
You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.
No matter how flat you make your pancakes, it still has two sides.
I'm not saying I'm smarter than Steve Jobs was, but I would have made the iPhone charger cord twice as long.
If you like soccer, then welcome to America. See, our country already has entertainment so watching people chase a ball for four hours to end 0 - 0 is not enjoyable - unless, of course, the bleachers collapse and half of Europe dies.
Finding my dog's g spot is taking way longer than I would care to admit.