If you snort enough blow, any lane is a passing lane.

Here’s what I tell people now when they come to my shows: “First of all, thank you for stimulating the economy, or at least my economic package.”

Oh, southern rappers... so hard to write a rhyme when you only know 30 words.

I feel bad sometimes because I secretly hope New Orleans gets nailed again.

The only reason Woodstock was necessary is because they didn't have iTunes.

I can say that. I have a television show.

You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're interesting!"