If you snort enough blow, any lane is a passing lane.

You know who makes a great first impression? Liars.

If you had to eat another human to survive, do you think they'd taste like their ethnic background?

Here’s what I tell people now when they come to my shows: “First of all, thank you for stimulating the economy, or at least my economic package.”

You don't gossip while your man is driving. You sit there quietly until you're about 5 minutes from your destination then you say, would you like some road head?

I love people of all ethnicities, as long as they're not ugly.

I'm not a good actor, I can play myself and a much gayer version of myself. That's my range.