I started my own foundation. If you aren't familiar with it, it's called 'Febreezing the homeless.' Who would you rather give money to: a man that smells 4like liquiid garbage, or ocean breeze?

How come New York gets all the cool plane crashes?

I'm like our fearless leader [Jesus]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything.

By the way, nothing I ever say, ever, has any truth behind it.

Of course the sexiest thing a girl can do is not complain about her body.

I apologize if there's a Parkinson's painter in the audience. I assume you do your best work in the morning. Probably gets abstract by noon.

I grew up in Florida and went to school there, and ended up going to University of Central Florida.