You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.
If you offer me a starring role in a movie, I have no interest.
Thank you ... San Francisco. All right, you're ruining the show. Thank you ... for clapping for what my parents are ashamed of.
I don't think I could stab somebody, cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun.
I will shut down Instagram so girls can't use filters into tricking us that they are that pretty; you're eyes aren't that blue, and you don't glow.
I've always thought having a kid that played soccer would be the worst punishment. After watching 3 min of water polo I stand corrected.