The only advice I have for youth is to date outside your race. I just think it's so cute when I see little kids in interracial relationships; it makes me feel like I'm watching a commercial.

That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere.

Real patriotism is realizing America sucks, but everywhere else is a thousand times worse.

Being a white boxer is like being a republican. No matter how hard you work, you'll always lose because of the Mexicans.

How come New York gets all the cool plane crashes?

Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is; if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.

I apologize if there's a Parkinson's painter in the audience. I assume you do your best work in the morning. Probably gets abstract by noon.