The only advice I have for youth is to date outside your race. I just think it's so cute when I see little kids in interracial relationships; it makes me feel like I'm watching a commercial.

Do you know there is actually a blood test out there now to find out if your kid is gay or not? Yeah, it's an HIV test.

You know what really keeps your staff on their toes? A harpoon gun.

I'm actually all for gay marriage. Just the thought of having a man around the house.

I'm also not good with numbers either, so it's not a great mix. People apparently don't want you ball-parkin' it when it comes to their finances.

A white lady came running up to me after a show. She goes, What gives you the right to do jokes about black people like that. And I'm like, Listen lady, my best friend is Cuban. And that's close enough.

If Canada were really that great, it would be a state.