It's not a stereotype if it's always true.

Sure I may look adjusted, but I can't function in normal society because most of you are too stupid.

I worked in Toronto for two days. And by work I mean sit in a trailer for 15 hours, say two lines, and leave.

Scattergories is second base for Christians.

I started my own foundation. If you aren't familiar with it, it's called 'Febreezing the homeless.' Who would you rather give money to: a man that smells 4like liquiid garbage, or ocean breeze?

Here’s what I tell people now when they come to my shows: “First of all, thank you for stimulating the economy, or at least my economic package.”

Canadians complain too much. 'I like seasons.' So do I; that's why I live in a place that skips the [unpleasant] ones.