Real patriotism is realizing America sucks, but everywhere else is a thousand times worse.
Daniel Toshe foundation to a good friendship is trust but the foundation to good comedy is by betraying your friends.
Daniel ToshI'm a homer, so the closer [I perform] to my house the better. If I could get crowds to gather around my bed, that would be ideal. I also like doing stand-up in places that I can surf, snowboard, or anywhere that I have a pregnancy scare.
Daniel Tosh