God does not hate gay people. He's just mad because they found a loophole in His system.

How about we get rid of separate bathrooms for boys and girls? Gays and straights share the bathroom with zero issues. We need to put an end to the sexist pooping policies of yesterday. The only way to achieve gender equality is to start crapping in front of each other.

I hope we find a cure for every major disease, because I'm tired of walking 5K. I'm pretty sure I don't have to sweat for cancer. I'll write a check.

Scattergories is second base for Christians.

I grew up in Florida and went to school there, and ended up going to University of Central Florida.

Even people who don't believe in science still have to believe in gravity.

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.