God does not hate gay people. He's just mad because they found a loophole in His system.

Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.

You know who makes a great first impression? Liars.

I'm going to be cremated from the neck down. And at my funeral, when people are talking about me, they have to hold my head. And then at the end, they have to kick me into the audience and the audience has to keep me up for at least three hits or you have to start the whole service over. No cradling it - I want legit sets.

Finding my dog's g spot is taking way longer than I would care to admit.

Recently started flat ironing my ball hair. Come on ladies, you know how it is; if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.

Technically it's not premarital sex if you don't plan on marrying them.