God does not hate gay people. He's just mad because they found a loophole in His system.

It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!

It’s the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central and they’ve been good to me.

The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod?

I don't know why I get away with some things. But I'm not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those jokes funny, so I say them. And I try to say everything kind of in a good spirit.

I can say that. I have a television show.

It's not a stereotype if it's always true.