I don't know why I get away with some things. But I'm not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those jokes funny, so I say them. And I try to say everything kind of in a good spirit.
Daniel ToshI'm going to be cremated from the neck down. And at my funeral, when people are talking about me, they have to hold my head. And then at the end, they have to kick me into the audience and the audience has to keep me up for at least three hits or you have to start the whole service over. No cradling it - I want legit sets.
Daniel ToshOf course money buys happiness. You ever seen a homeless person skip? The answer to that riddle's no. They're not allowed.
Daniel ToshPeople write a lot of similar material. That's why I try to come up with the most absurd jokes.
Daniel Tosh