Until I see proof of this reincarnation or cloning, I'm gonna live up this life. That was kinda the path I took. But I fulfilled my obligations.

How about we get rid of separate bathrooms for boys and girls? Gays and straights share the bathroom with zero issues. We need to put an end to the sexist pooping policies of yesterday. The only way to achieve gender equality is to start crapping in front of each other.

I'll throw a globe at you! You ever been hit by the world?!

It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!

Instead of dumping all my money on an independent film that nobody would watch and most people would make fun of behind my back, I decided, 'I'm just going to buy a house.'

Real patriotism is realizing America sucks, but everywhere else is a thousand times worse.

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.