You can accept that things are awful and still have a sense of humor about it.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then I can say, 'Hey, at least I'm not pregnant.'

One day, I want to get rich enough so that every time I walk into a room I can release a dozen doves.

The only advice I have for youth is to date outside your race. I just think it's so cute when I see little kids in interracial relationships; it makes me feel like I'm watching a commercial.

Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.

If security guards aren't allowed to carry guns, I don't have to obey their made up rules.

I wasn't a pain in the ass when I was a kid. So I think being a screw-up as an adult is way more acceptable.