You know what really keeps your staff on their toes? A harpoon gun.
e foundation to a good friendship is trust but the foundation to good comedy is by betraying your friends.
I fell asleep watching the country music channel and woke up racist.
Never hit a woman unless you are a bigger woman.
I feel bad sometimes because I secretly hope New Orleans gets nailed again.
Instead of dumping all my money on an independent film that nobody would watch and most people would make fun of behind my back, I decided, 'I'm just going to buy a house.'