By the way, nothing I ever say, ever, has any truth behind it.

I'm also not good with numbers either, so it's not a great mix. People apparently don't want you ball-parkin' it when it comes to their finances.

I have high-definition television, because I felt the lack of resolution was affecting my ability to solve cases on C.S.I.

If it weren't for men, this planet would be overrun with giant spiders.

High school is just like glee, a bunch of people dying of drug overdose.

We'll put an asterisk next to Barry Bonds' name, sure, as soon as we put one next to Babe Ruth's name. Getting to break records before black people were allowed to play? Excuse me, where is that asterisk?

Oh, southern rappers... so hard to write a rhyme when you only know 30 words.