When you're in young love your pulse pounds, your palms sweat, and there are butterflies in your stomach. It's like diarrhea for your heart.
How come everybody cheers when chicks flash their T&A, but when I pull out my D&Bs, i'm a registered sex offender.
They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.
You can accept that things are awful and still have a sense of humor about it.
If Canada were really that great, it would be a state.
I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too.