I'll do anything usually if there's money involved and little work.

You know who makes a great first impression? Liars.

Even people who don't believe in science still have to believe in gravity.

I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences.

Never hit a woman unless you are a bigger woman.

Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him.

Of course the sexiest thing a girl can do is not complain about her body.