You know, you can only cram your beliefs down a young kid's throat for so long before he goes, "you know, the other side seems to be having a lot more fun."

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

I'm like our fearless leader [Jesus]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything.

Making a good music video isn't easy. If it were, MTV would still be showing them instead of '16 and Pregnant,' which I assume is shot exclusively in Utah.

I really don’t work a whole lot as far as touring, but I do stand-up every night of my life, no matter where I am. It’s really made the touring a lot less grueling.

I grew up in Florida and went to school there, and ended up going to University of Central Florida.

I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed.