I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.

Being a white boxer is like being a republican. No matter how hard you work, you'll always lose because of the Mexicans.

A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.

I actually got a part in 'The Love Guru', that Mike Myers film. I heard it's awful. I got a Razzie award for it, which I'm quite proud of, but I still haven't seen it. I have no plans to branch out.

I heart abortion. Where's the shirt for that, urban outfitters?! And it won't be a normal heart. It'll be a dead infant heart. Y'know what the back will say? Problem Solved.

Now it's time for amasians... That's Asians doing something amazing.