Technically it's not premarital sex if you don't plan on marrying them.

Models: I'm not voting for you for any stupid magazine list! If you were really that Hot you wouldn't have to beg the world to stuff the ballot.

Of course money buys happiness. You ever seen a homeless person skip? The answer to that riddle's no. They're not allowed.

It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!

I was drinking tea the other day, and I thought: they used to fight wars over this.

Here’s what I tell people now when they come to my shows: “First of all, thank you for stimulating the economy, or at least my economic package.”

No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all