Germany's like Wisconsin, but with, like, a really bad past.

I'm like our fearless leader [Jesus]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything.

I guess it could be seen as a form of rebellion, but (my dad) is pretty supportive. He's knows I'm just an idiot, so I think that softens it a little bit.

You know, you can only cram your beliefs down a young kid's throat for so long before he goes, "you know, the other side seems to be having a lot more fun."

You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

If Canada were really that great, it would be a state.

Of course money buys happiness. You ever seen a homeless person skip? The answer to that riddle's no. They're not allowed.