I like my women like I like my coffee . . . I don’t like coffee.

I like my women like I like my coffee . . . I don’t like coffee.

I'm like our fearless leader [Jesus]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

When you're in young love your pulse pounds, your palms sweat, and there are butterflies in your stomach. It's like diarrhea for your heart.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

One day, I want to get rich enough so that every time I walk into a room I can release a dozen doves.