I grew up in Florida and went to school there, and ended up going to University of Central Florida.

I'm like our fearless leader [Jesus]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything.

Thank you people that are laughing with your hand away from your mouth. That joke is clearly not for everyone, but I enjoy watching people that don't laugh make the people that do laugh feel shitty about themselves.

High school is just like glee, a bunch of people dying of drug overdose.

Maybe everyone doesn't deserve a second chance. If I can be perfect why can't you?

Sure I may look adjusted, but I can't function in normal society because most of you are too stupid.

Here’s what I tell people now when they come to my shows: “First of all, thank you for stimulating the economy, or at least my economic package.”