It's all fun and games until someone gets a boner.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

If you have ever typed 'sorry not sorry' I hope you die... not sorry.

How come everybody cheers when chicks flash their T&A, but when I pull out my D&Bs, i'm a registered sex offender.

I started my own foundation. If you aren't familiar with it, it's called 'Febreezing the homeless.' Who would you rather give money to: a man that smells 4like liquiid garbage, or ocean breeze?

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!

If you had to eat another human to survive, do you think they'd taste like their ethnic background?