I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.
I will not date a woman from China, because that is a big red flag.
The only thing surfers have in common with the rest of America is they're unemployed and they love crystal meth.
If Canada were really that great, it would be a state.
I will shut down Instagram so girls can't use filters into tricking us that they are that pretty; you're eyes aren't that blue, and you don't glow.