I'm not honest, but you're interesting!

I will shut down Instagram so girls can't use filters into tricking us that they are that pretty; you're eyes aren't that blue, and you don't glow.

Oh, southern rappers... so hard to write a rhyme when you only know 30 words.

People write a lot of similar material. That's why I try to come up with the most absurd jokes.

If you had to eat another human to survive, do you think they'd taste like their ethnic background?

You never see anyone wearing a black turtleneck and leather jacket doing something nice.

I mean my goal is to get Michael Richards to do stand up at the Laugh Factory to an all black audience.