If Canada were really that great, it would be a state.

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all

Spelling is difficult because there are too many rules. Silent letters only exist to make it harder for illegal immigrants to learn English.

If you look at the Bible and you look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything?

When you're in young love your pulse pounds, your palms sweat, and there are butterflies in your stomach. It's like diarrhea for your heart.

We owe it to our troops to let them sleep in their own beds, wake up in the morning, have a delicious breakfast, and drive to war.