If Canada were really that great, it would be a state.

I don't know why I get away with some things. But I'm not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those jokes funny, so I say them. And I try to say everything kind of in a good spirit.

One day, I want to get rich enough so that every time I walk into a room I can release a dozen doves.

Let's be honest: it's not like I'm not making a good living that the whole family benefits from. No one talks about my foul mouth when we're all in Aspen for Christmas.

I'm not a good actor, I can play myself and a much gayer version of myself. That's my range.

You know why they say that, that models are too skinny? Because parents are horrible, they can't tell their sixteen year old daughter she's not really a princess, well guess what, I can.

If security guards aren't allowed to carry guns, I don't have to obey their made up rules.