Germany's like Wisconsin, but with, like, a really bad past.
I fell asleep watching the country music channel and woke up racist.
High school is just like glee, a bunch of people dying of drug overdose.
My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had... so he sent me to a girls school.
Even people who don't believe in science still have to believe in gravity.
It’s the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central and they’ve been good to me.